By: Tina Stumpfhauser
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Ephesians 4:2
Relationships are so complicated, so wonderful, so hurtful, so joyful and so needed. It’s true: God created us for relationships!
Genesis 2:18 states, “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”
Clearly, the most important relationship we will ever have in our lives is our relationship with Christ. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He guides us and protects us and cares for us (not to mention, offers us the beautiful gift of eternal life). But what about all of the people we do life with every day? Our spouses, our children, our parents, our friends, our neighbors, our coworkers?
I remember several years ago when my daughter turned fourteen. Prior to that, we had a great relationship. Yes, the parenting journey is a complete rollercoaster ride, but overall, I was thoroughly enjoying my role as her mom and our mother-daughter relationship. The conversations, the schoolwork, the extra activities…I was loving it! But, fourteen years into this ride, I felt like I could barely hold on. She was changing, pulling away and becoming her own person. And it was HARD. Like, really hard! I was confused and sad, and honestly felt sick. I got on my knees every single day asking God for guidance. He helped me realize this was part of her journey—and my journey as her mom. I had two choices: Fight these changes and be concerned and sick about things that weren’t matching my expectations, or…continue to grow our relationship.
The Bible emphasizes the significance of relationships in every aspect of life, centering on our relationship with God and extending to others. At the core, the Bible teaches that relationships are based on love, sacrifice and mutual respect, mirroring God’s own relationship with us. Jesus said in Matthew 22:37-39, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” This dual commandment explains that our love for God should naturally overflow into love for others.
So, you guessed it: I did whatever it took to keep that relationship with my daughter going. I kept asking questions, caring about her interests and engaging in conversation as much as possible. I stayed up past the point of exhaustion if she wanted to talk. I showed unconditional love and a heart of grace. And I kept praying. She was learning and growing, and so was I.
I think most of us have had times when we have pulled away from our Father, but He never leaves us. He stays. He keeps pursuing. He keeps offering grace. He patiently waits for us. And it’s truly because He cares THAT much about our relationship with Him. Oh, I’m so grateful! Aren’t you? All of the relationships in our lives require a degree of pursuing, loving, connecting, communicating, forgiving and restoring. Jesus does this to us—but do we do this to those we love?
Do you have a relationship in your life that could use a little extra attention? Are you pulling away from a relationship in your life, or maybe someone has pulled away from you? Let’s look to Jesus as our example on what to do. Colossians 3:13 instructs, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Relationships are hard, but they stretch us and grow us. They give us opportunities to express love, receive support and grow spiritually. They help us to become kinder, more compassionate, more grace-filled…more like Jesus. At times, they might keep us on our knees, but they’re worth it—every single time.