Rita Early, GFC Carrollwood

Usually when you find out your pregnant you feel great joy. But, for me, it was different. I’d been experiencing quite a bit of pain and what I thought I could attribute to my monthly cycle, which was normal for me, except that I was late and the pain was getting more intense. 

Could I actually be pregnant? I decided to call my doctor’s office and have them diagnose what was going on. I assumed they’d schedule me for an appointment the following day as it was after hours, however, the nurse wanted me to go straight to the OBGYN department at a nearby hospital. "The hospital?", I thought. My heart sank. In my twenties, I’d had a miscarriage and feared that, once again, I'd be losing a child. 

The doctor attending to me poked and prodded. Every move she made was greeted with a whimper of pain. A hot tear ran down the side of my face as I lay on the examining table awaiting her verdict. “You need to go to the emergency room,” she said removing her gloves. “We need to make sure it’s not an ectopic pregnancy.”

I gathered my composure while the truth began to sink in, ready to drown me in a sea of nothingness. My husband and I left the examining room in silence. As we waited for the elevator he smiled and said, “We’re having a baby.” A lump formed in my throat. “No. You don’t understand,” I said. “An ectopic pregnancy means the baby is going to die and if it’s not removed, I might die too.” I clung to his neck and sobbed. 

Chris rubbed my back and gently pulled me away to look into my eyes. “I understand. But right now, at this very minute, God has chosen you to be this baby’s mommy and I’m a dad.” He got teary eyed, but it was from joy. He truly believed he was a dad. While I had chosen to set my mind on earthly things: death, anxiety, and torment, my husband was choosing to focus on things above: life, hope and peace. “OK,” I said, taking in a deep breath. Could it be this simple? Just choose joy? 

Though doctors ruled out an ectopic pregnancy, sadly, I still ended up losing the baby a few weeks later. Every time I went for an exam my hormone levels dropped without any clear explanation. I continued to place my trust in God through prayer and praise. During those days my husband and I took walks, held hands, we talked to the baby and rubbed my belly. I rested and ate whatever I wanted without guilt or condemnation, ‘cause God is good and so is Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.

And when the time came, we grieved. 

But, God delivered us from darkness to light. We are now an adoptive family of two lovely girls and I trust God’s promise that one day I will hold all my children in His presence.

"Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:2.