by Dawn Smiling
I remember sitting on my bed crying my eyes out. I can still hear my big sister say “Dawn, your plans have not changed, they are just delayed. You will still get to accomplish everything you want to do, don’t worry”. I was pregnant and unmarried at the age of nineteen. Why is everything so out of order in my life? Can I do anything right? Next, I had to watch my mother cry. Although I did not fully understand it then, I now understand the hurt and pain a mother feels when their child takes a turn in life. It was then that a part of me finally understood that my mother had other plans for my life, and having a child before marriage was not in this equation. But the time passed, and my mother’s heart softened in her disappointment.
My beautiful bundle of joy arrived. She smelled so good. All brand new and looking directly in my eyes. Oh, if she would have stayed just a beautiful baby. But she didn’t, she grew. She grew from listening to everything mommy said, to suddenly having her own opinion. Who is this? Did this child come out of my womb? The teenage years were rough. She was an alien from another planet. We did not see eye to eye on anything. All I could do is pray. Right at that moment I remembered what I put my mother through and decided this was punishment from God. Was I getting back everything I put my dear mother through? Was my youthful rebellion coming back to haunt me? I Prayed.
Suddenly, she blossomed. She changed into someone I recognized, again. A huge sigh of relief came over me. But more importantly, she changed into a person she liked. She came into her own. As women and young ladies, we go through periods where we are confused about who we are, and what our purpose is. A huge sigh of relief came over me that she left the alien nation and came back to the land of the living. She found Christ.
Never underestimate God’s timing. At the lowest time of my life, when faced with divorce, this beautiful gift, my daughter, brought me so much comfort, and so much love. She took care of me like a nurse taking care of a patient. The one that I took care of was now taking care of me. And as Ruth followed Naomi, and said “your people shall be my people, and your God will be my God”, she followed me to Grace FamilyChurch, and she became a member. Thank God I did not terminate this pregnancy. I could only see my future, but God sees everything. God knows our past, He is our present and He has plans for our future. And when I look at her, my beautiful daughter, I can see me.
How have you seen your relationship with your mother change for the good over the years? In what ways do you appreciate your mother or daughter as a gift? Share your comments below!
Dawn Smiling enjoys volunteering at Grace Family Church as a prayer counselor, part of the soul care ministry, and as a table leader for Beautiful Monday Nights.